What's New....

Christmas came and went and....it sucked! I feel like I've been robbed of a fun holiday. I got NO presents. I did enjoy the few messages of "Merry Christmas" I got. I couldn't have felt more alone and it was (is) horrible. I've cried myself to sleep every night since the 23rd. I want someone special to share holidays with (besides my parents).

Yes, I've got extended family, but honestly, they are jerks. My aunt called and threw a hissy fit because we didn't feel like getting in the car and driving 2 hours to sit at her house for Christmas. Don't we have a choice NOT to do that.

You have no clue how many phone calls we get a day related to the fire. Insurance, FEMA, local government, the mobile home park, charities, etc. It was nice knowing we'd have one day where no phone calls like that would come. We wanted to enjoy that. We've also been going at a constant pace working to use the pre-Christmas sales to our advantage. So we were exhausted and yet the "guilt train" comes on because we don't feel like getting in a car and driving to sit at someone else's house. Seriously? How come we don't get to have a day of peace and quiet?

I hope no one ever has to go through the task of replacing things. You go along and think, "OK, it's done I've got the basics". Then there is a blast of cold air and you realize that you need another blanket or a small heater to help you stay warm. You also realize you don't have a heavy winter coat. This stuff takes time to deal with.

OK, so I ranted again. But reminder this is MY blog and what I do here is MY stuff, OK?

I am also struggling with the fact that financially things are getting strained. We thought we'd have actual help from the people in our lives who said "we are putting something together for you" or "let me know if I can send you gift cards or something". NOTHING ever showed up and that sucks because we actually thought something was coming. I am reminded of wedding gifts, baby gifts, birthday presents, etc. I've given....oh well. It's a wake up call that's for sure.

I am on Christmas break from school but I've got a crap load of work to do. I haven't even started researching my term paper and I'm in the middle of creating a study sheet for one subject. I will have one subject left. I had also hoped I wouldn't get out of the rhythm of going to school and studying and I am lost because of all the stuff I had to do in the last week.

I am working on organizing photographs. Now that time has passed I do plan to share the photos I have. Right now I am trying to figure out where to host them so everyone can see. I am almost done uploading them on to MySpace but not everyone is on MySpace. I've got a Facebook account but for some reason no one I know is listed on that.

It appears that we will relocate in the next 30-60 days to another apartment. Right now everything is temporary until we get all settlements handled with insurance and FEMA. In the meantime, the housing market is showing no signs of improvement so we aren't in any big rush.

I kinda wish all those who've been fantastic friends lived nearby because I'd love to have a night out on the town with all of you. Hell, I'd do anything right now to avoid reading about transformers and rectifiers.

I guess what it all comes down to is each day has its struggles. Some days, the struggles are minor and other days they are major. But deep down I don't feel like I've got security. A person's home is their sanctuary and right now I don't have that and won't have it in the near future. It's frustrating.

And when I feel like things are lopsided and I am completely alone, it is even harder to see that future. I put out a challenge before and I think only one person stepped up. And this is why I find myself wondering about the quality of people I have allowed into my life, ya know.

Busy, Overdue Blogs...Homework...Christmas....

Yes, I know I am overdue on a blog where I am not venting.

Seriously, it's on my "list".

I've also got names on that "list". Names of people I owe emails to.

YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN!

That "every day life" thing can get overwhelming.

Plus when you add in the struggles of having to buy things new and not 100% sure about the financial end of it...well, it's frustrating.

Anyhow, first I got my computer back and right now my FAVORTE little buddy EVER (aka TiVo) is sitting next to me and I am trying to get him up and running. So time to tend to my favorite buddy.

Blogs and emails are forthcoming...I am on Christmas break from school so I am hoping to have some free time.