A Day of Studying....

First off....KUDOS to those of you who stepped up to my challenge. Major snaps, points, warm fuzzies, etc. for you.

It has been a long week and next week looks to be even crazier as I will be taking a day class and a night class for two days. Ugh!

Mom and I finally got Dad off his "I'm going to be a real estate agent and find us a home" kick. Well, at least until the thought crosses his mind again. He can only be distracted so often and for so long.

The living arrangement is still stressful. But I'm learning to cope and I'm just happy that I've got my own computer. Seriously, it is the ONE place I have privacy.

This morning my cell rang with a call related to being a victim of the fire. I finished the call and I hadn't been off the phone 30 seconds before both parents were in my doorway asking who was on the phone. ARGH!!!!!

I politely and forcefully said, it was none of their business but then I got pouting. Oh joy!

I am going out tonight and I've already been hit twice with "what time are you leaving to go out?" and "what time do you think you'll be home?"

Rather than answering I've replied with "why is there something you need/want me to do before I leave?" and "do you need me to stay away until a certain time?"

Uhhhh....yeah.....I think I shut down the question machine. And I am sure there will be, yet again, another discussion about boundaries before the weekend is done.

In the meantime, I am studying. I hate the fact that I am struggling so much and that it feels like I am learning nothing. But I am pulling down a high B average learning nothing so go figure.

Well, back to reviewing for my test on Monday. At least it is Friday which means I might actually get a decent grade come Monday.

Still deciding if I want to share photos.

A difficult evening.....

I hate this.....

I am having a really difficult evening.....

and I am alone

And those who I thought were some of the closest people in my life have all but gone silent.

Do you know how much that hurts?

NO!

I am beginning to wonder.....is it that everyone is so wrapped in being the center of the universe that the thought of asking someone "how are you?" has slipped your mind?

I am so terrified to actually reach out to these people.

Seriously, I thought you and I were friends.....

Clearly I was the stupid the one.....maybe I was just a speed bump to make YOUR life better.

And what sucks is that I have a test tomorrow....and a very long night ahead of me.

Thank you for the confirmation that I am nothing and teaching me where my place is in the world. But you know what I will play YOUR game...I AM THE CENTER OF MY UNIVERSE AND IF YOU HAVE A FOR CRAP DAY - DON'T EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU FEEL BETTER! Thanks for teaching me the ways of the world with you in it.

San Fernando Sun Article

This is a link to an article that was written about me and my parents. The photo included was taken just as we left the Red Cross Shelter to head to our apartment.

http://www.sanfernandosun.com/sanfernsun/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2974&Itemid=0

Sunday, December 7 - Shaping up to be yet another for crap day

Great....it seems my father (the most directionally challenged person in our family) has taken on the project of finding us a new house.

Yep, US....seems I will now forever be stuck living with them?!?!?!

FUCK!!!!

I did not know this was the plan and when DID it become the plan. I don't recall discussing it.

So it seems I am not officially get to dump the thoughts of continuing my education (something I REALLY wanted to do) because the sooner I get out and get a job the sooner I can have income and qualify for my own mortgage so I do NOT have to live with them.

This fucking sucks!

If I find the little fucker who started the fire I want to kill him.